The SIMS IRL

Simone’s Reverse Proposal to Brittney

A second proposal is something not often done by heterosexual couples, but that I have seen done sparingly by LGBTQIA couples to establish a sense of equality between partners in the wedding planning process. Granted, the wedding was already being planned at the time of this counter-proposal and would have been executed without it, but there are reasons why I feel this gesture is special and almost necessary.

American weddings tend to center around the more outwardly feminine partner. The moment that the more feminine party says yes, all the energy or interest in that wedding planning journey and wedding day, is immediately re-focused on the partner wearing the dress.

The dress is almost as much of a focal point/area of interest as the actual ceremony.

And upon reflection, no one ever asks the groom or dominant partner ‘What type of suit/tux are you going to wear?’ But everyone is inquiring beforehand and waiting to see the details of the dress, hairstyle, and makeup that the more feminine bride presents with on the day.

Regardless of the orientation of the unit, a wedding is between 2 people, and both partners should feel equally celebrated at every step of the process. This is why the counterproposal made me feel valued and fully seen as a bride, too.

Some people, may not need that affirmation during the process, but I am not afraid to admit that I did and I was glad that my Wife extended that gesture to me. 

The second proposal occurred approx 6 months after the first proposal, at a happy hour at one of our favorite downtown DC Rooftops, POV Rooftop at The W Hotel.

From this rooftop, you can see the unobstructed views of The Washington Memorial and White House, which is one of the many reasons people in the city frequent it.

During this happy hour, we ordered our first round of drinks (because we were not yet sober) and when we ordered our second round of drinks roughly 30 minutes after the first, mine came out with embroidered napkins that said ‘Will you marry me too?’

I was speechless, and immediately when I looked up, after reading the napkin, she was holding a black box open with a Gold band lined with diamonds. With my whole heart, I of course said yes.

Again, the second proposal is not a requirement of any couple, but I do think returning grand or small romantic gestures to your partner to further display your love and commitment to them, is never a bad idea and should not be limited to any specific gender. For monogamous couples, love is a two-way street, and I firmly believe that all displays of affection, romantic gestures, words of affirmation, and emotional/mental support should flow accordingly at all times.